ppppppPEN?......ppppppPENCIL?........ccccCOIN?

Today we got up early and headed out to get on the houseboat. It was an hour away on the bus.. An hour on the bus seems like nothing on say......septa.. But on oii buses, it's a whole new story. So let me tell you a little something about oii buses. When you get on one it would seem like your bus driver was in a real rush to get to your stop. Then you get on another bus and the same thing, the bus driver is going really fast to get you to your destination as quick as possible. Now this theory only works when one or two people on the road are feeling this "need to go super fast". The problem arises when the entire street seems to think they have the right of way and are of importance. This is transportation in oii. So you take your trucks, buses, auto-rickshaws, motorcycles, scooters, bikes, and the unfortunate or most lucky, pedestrians. Then you embed the "I'm important so let me through" mentality.. And that's where all the fun begins.

Ways to conquer your fear of oii transportation:
1. DON'T LOOK AT OPPOSING TRAFFIC
2. If you are on a bus, keep thinking to yourself that the crowd will help dampen the pain
3. If you are in an autorikshaw, your pretty much screwed
4. i will never get on a motorcycle, but seems like you can crowd on as many children possible on one scooter.. lets see Rome beat that! ( i saw 4 children on a scooter and a grown man driving it. )

after our stressful bus journey we finally get to Allephy, south of Cochin. (the picture is from the boat looking at our captain) From there we were transported to our houseboat. Which was grand. It was really quite lovely. So we got all excited and were on our way. There were 3 crew members, a chef, a captain and a driver. The scenery was magnificent, and very peaceful. Then we hear amongst the coconut trees...."....ppppppp.PEN?"
and we both look to see a little boy in the depths of the woods asking for a pen, i look blankly at him and say nope.. no pen here.

a couple of meters away we stop so i can grab some biscuits for tea.. And there were 3 little boys all screaming "Pen".. the scenario was best described as the scene in Finding Nemo when the sea gulls keep saying "mine, mine, mine" So Colin says why don't you buy them some pens..

I get out to get some pens (keep in mind there were only 3 to begin with). So i get out and buy 3 pens. Once i turn around there seemed to be 20 men and children behind me. I couldn't believe how fast they multiplied, there seemed to be a secret message sent into town saying free pens.. come quick. I'm not lying, and older women and her granddaughter(on the left of image) came from nowhere. And the grandmother was pushing her granddaughter at me....Telling her to come close so i can buy her a pen.. Oh man. Thank goodness i only had enough money to buy 8 pens, but it was strange how they all wanted pens.

The rest of the day was pretty much laid back, lots of sleeping...eating...more sleeping. The south sun is hot and makes everyone so sleepy. Then when nightfall finally came, the sky was lit up with sparkling stars. It was really pretty. We could see so many stars. So then i passed out, cause Kerelan food also makes me sleepy.

PART 2

After our final fit of laughter from the massage, we decide to go to the fish market to buy some fish for a late lunch. They were selling all sorts sizes and kinds, lobsters with blue claws and shrimp as big as lobsters. Fish of all sorts, sharks, kingfisher, snapper, tuna. It was crazy the boats keep coming. I guess Cochin is the central of the fishing district. So we settled for 10 tiger shrimp(150 R-) and a large yellow snapper (100 R-) $1 = 45 R-....ooo it's so naughty being a foreigner sometimes. There were loads of carts next to the fish stalls that would cook your fish for you, and oii you once again have to bargain with them too cook it or you cheap. While we waited 2 boys kept coming up to us to sell there little wooden toys to us. India is filled with the middle man, be it young or old. Everyone is trying to sell something, mostly not made by them. So this boy was selling us all his goods, and i kept telling him no I don't have any room for heavy wooden trinkets, and he still does not understand. arggg

any way while waiting for our dinner. We met this wonderful woman who was traveling alone. This was her second time to India, and get this she was 73 years old. And perfectly fit to hop on our bags. She even endured a 14 hour bus ride. So in dedication to Pat, I've posted her picture up of this cool lady.

For all the Jews, this is for you, Kerela has a huge Jewish population.... Don't ask me why. Also tons of churches. Christianity is pretty high here. So we had dinner with Pat which was really nice. Then following our finely cooked meal we decided to go to a kathkali show. It is a mixture of costume, makeup, drama and dance, and singing. It started out with a quick tutorial on what is done and the meaning of the eye and body movements. It also takes them an hour to do the makeup. First impression (mime's gone wild) the makeup was really cool, although the body movements were all similar and were getting boring after a couple of minutes. When we entered we received a rundown of the scenes and was translated, it seemed like the scene was going to take more than an hour to complete. Imagine sitting on the street watching a mime perform for more than an hour. I enjoy culture, but this was very repetitive and not accelerating. It could possibly have been the theatre and the performance, so I will give it another try later.

We then took pat to get some "special tea" at our salt-n-pepper place. They did not have any, they seemed to have run out. So instead they had rum and coke's so we got some rum and cokes and it was incredibly gross. We ended up having only one. We then walked Pat home, and then went to bed to get some rest for tomorrow's fun filled day.

Bicycles, naked massages, Kathkali, Fish Markets PART 1

Woke up pretty early, had a fantastic breakfast at out hotel, it was really pretty. THe hotel was called the old courtyard, and it was litterly an old courtyard that we had our breakfast in. It was another day of getting things done so we booked our houseboat in Allepy, and also our plane tickets. So get this it costs more to go domestic in india than to go international from india. and tourists pay double the cost of indian nationals. oii! So we payed a crap load for all those formalities. I was glad we were done it to enjoy our stay in fort cochin. We later rented our bikes so that was pretty nice.

BIKE RIDE:
started to away from the tourists area i was tired to seeing whity tighties (tourists). Then we sung around to go to the shady side of town, which was very interesting and yet a bit disturbing, it was literely like walking from black to white. the river smelt of putrid sweage and it seemed like the town was just hiding it behind this halo of darkness. Well okay it wasn't that bad, but it did smell pretty funky. It's so sad seeing children with babies on there hips. So we biked through and immediatly we were in the muslim area. After having an unpleasent time in Mumbai with a Muslim resturant, we decided to turn around and head to the chinese nets. These men are crazy!

so they put the fishing nets down, and then after 15min they lift them back up.
i think they do it all day, and they don't really get that many fishies. So they try and try. These guys might be skinny, but they are strong F*ers. Really strong. So after enjoying our freshly squeeed pineapple and orange juice we went on our way.

Back in the hotel i had a shower because it seemes i sweat more than any women on this earth. So i had a quick shower and thought hmmmmm. Keral is known for ti's auyervedic spa treatments. We deciced to get massages. We saw a place a block from the hotel and went on our way. So we get to the place both decide we just want a plain ayuvedic oil massage. (keep in mind it's with 2 people)

The women tells me to come up and Colin goes with the guy. I get into the room, and there is a pan of oil on the floor and a place to lay down on the floor as well. This is what happens next:

Massuse: take off all your clothes
Me: all of it?
Massuse: all of it
Me: even my underwear?
Massuse: all of it
Me: even my underwear?
Massuese: all of it
Me: even my underwear?
Massuse: all of it

so i took all of it off , and was extremly embarrased as 2 women were applying oil on me. then after they would rub oil on you they would slap your hand on the floor. so not only was the whole situation extremly embarrassing but also most definetly painful. and then she kept telling me to relax as she went onto systymatically crack my toes!(that hurts like HELL). To make things worse i had to bite my lip from laughing out loud thinking about colin getting the same thing. It was the most bizzare thing i have ever experianced.later colin told me if anything in the world could test a man's homosexuality, it is an ayuervedic oil massage done by 2 men stroking your butt. How could i not laugh senseless after that!

part 2 of our day is to come.

Trains in India get disinfected less than once a month.. mmmm tasty

Um so i was still on the train. I woke with the sounds of "BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST' and so i worke up and they told me DOSA OR BLAH BLAH BLAH, i was half sleeping so i said dosa. and then it comes, and it's the work freakin goo of a dosa i've ever had. so sad so sad.
i was on the train most of the day, actually all day, got out at around 7. so nothing really to report. saw an elehpant on the way, and many cockroaches were hanging out when we were playing cards. i love it how indian men love to just stare, not a okay i'll take a peek and then look away, it's like a never ending staring competions, and i'm not playing.. sheeshka bob.

There was a fun game of musical chairs in the beginging, only in india can the conductor sell sold tickets to people. so when the real people showed up they were all screwed... oh well. thats life.

So we finnaly got out of the freaking train. and hopped on an Auto-rikshaw. almost 20 times were we in deadly accident situations. a guy on a bike with a girl on the back almost fell off. So that was kind of adventuroes. mmm spelling mistake. oh well. So got setteled in a sweet place, went out for some grub, and hmmm pretty much everything was closed cept like 3 places. So we went to a divy place called salt-n-pepper. they were egging us on to have some beer(but really hush hush like) so we ordered a bottle of beer, and we looked around and noone else was drinking beer, when the guy came back, he brought a tea pot. they were serving beer in tea pots because it was dry for 2 days due to a statewide election. so we drank our beer out of a tea pot.. oh man only in india, i'm going to shorten that to (oii) only.in.india


we left that place and had some food at this other joint, and as we looked around it seemed like the entire coach of the train that we were in seemed to have come to the same place, yeesssss lonely planet people we were. every single person in our coach was at this resturant. so that was very uneventful.

next up, bikes and more

Toxic smell of B.O.

I was doing really well with my b.o till now. When i sat down on the computer i took off my jacket and the waff
hit me pretty hard. I'm at the Margoa Train station one of hte main trin stations in GOA. Since our train to Kerla is not untill 1:40 AM!! What is wrong with Indians and timing? SHEESH! We have nothing to do but sip some coke and look for book stores and fake talk to my homies back home.

Anyway we are planning to go to Ponda, which is north west of the GOA state any minute now, just waiting for the bus. We are going there so i can go to the spice tours and maybe also the sandelwood tour. i really want to go see some spices yeah! DOn't you ever wonder where your peppercorn comes from? I will be able to solve all those wonderful questions about spices very soon.

This weather is really making me an angry philadelphian india. It has been raining for 4 days straight now and i'm going mental because all my stuff is starting to show mold. it is so damp and wet all the time. AUGGGG!

Kara indian cocktials are allright, cept the fact that they spell things a bit diff. like mojitos are mojitoo, and daquir's are daqri. you know the way i normally spell. Chinease food is Chinase food. and yesterday was classic when the menu said hand made by the cock. SWEET!!!. i have evidence if you do not beleive me.

i have not gone swimmign in the ocean since the jellyfish incedinet. i can't wait to post pitures up, but its a bit tricky. man i smell. just took a sip of my coke and got a waft.

due to torrential downpores, yesterday we pretty much just drank and ate all day, left the house, bought tickets and then didn't go back to our hut till really late. Oh and a famous actor came to our resturant, and everone was going crazy, the cooks and waiters were all trying to get there pictures take with him, and everone eating, was like who the hell is this guy? i'm not sure his name, somethng kapoor, and his dad is really famous, i tried to find him, but i can't find which kapoor, oh well.

okay, gots to go on our spice mission. laters

me

Hundreds of Jelly washed to shore

When i was leaving the internet place, it started to piss pre rain again yesterday. So we sat down to eat some stuff. Then when it was low tide we left and i was collecting sea shells by the low tide. Too my suprise there were loads of squishy things on beach. I looked closer at the squiggy jiggly things were all jellyfish. hundreds of them varying in size all over the place. I couldn't beleive how many there were. They were all stranded on the beach. Some had half eaten fish in them, and others were just laying there. It was all so gross yet sad. I couldn't tell if they were dead or not. not sure if jellyfish can stand being out of the water, and the internet is sooo slow that i can not google it. So if someone can please google it, and tell me if jellyfish can survive out of the water that would be very helpful. and my mind will be at peace.

Later this morning on out walk to breakfast we caught our eyes on the fisherman. they were pulling in nets by hand, the whole family was in it. the kids and dad pulling, the women waiting for the fish to collect in straw baskets. Most of the fish were tiny and some of the catch consited of squid. the way they fish is very rudementary (big word, not sure if i used it corectly) anyway. they also caught a sting ray and a blow fish. the blow fish was really cute and i'm glad they threw it back in.

here is the fish catching process:
1. six men row out in these hand made boats out of cut out trees. and when i mean row i mean row, there are no power jets on these suckers
2. they then lay out there nets
3. boats row back, keep in mind the current and waves are ridiculous due to monsoon
4. the boats are back, and now kids and adults grab the nets with large wooden paddles and pull
the nets back in from the ocean takes about 45 min for te nets to come in manually
5. ladies then seperate and sell all the fish

yesterday we found out that the little boys got 100rs for selling there big crab, and the resturants sell it to their customers for 600-800rs.. what a freaking ripoff eh!!

preeti, there are lots of kids here, mostly european, and we also saw a handful of indian kids.. they give me wierd looks. not sure why.. but most of them just hang out and play tag or cricket..

oki doki. i am getting up early tommorow morning to go to old Goa to look at some portugese architecture. i will write again when i reah kerela :)

hopefully i will be able to get to go on a spice or sandelwood tour.. geeeesh

me

MONSOON WEATHER BLOWS!!

I have never been so frightened in me dear life. Last night there was really bad weather. with ridiculous winds, and when you are bunking in straw huts, its pretty damn scary! you all know the three little pigs story... yeah? exactly. the straw house always went down first!

so the wind was blowing like crazy, and the rain my god the rain would not stop all night and all day we had to keep having to find shelter because the rain was getting so bad. and mind you this was not your ordinary rain that sprinkles, this was like golf ball size rain droplets that smack you on the face. so yesterday was easy peasy. didn't do much at all, played some cards, read some of my books, and pretty much slept all day cause it was so wet and muggy.

that little wind was scary, and not even a hurricane, i can not imagine how scary a CAT 4 hurricane in new orleans was, it is so painful to be not in control of your surroundings. nature is so scary.

we took some time this morning to go to the river side, and took a nice quiet journey up river in a little dingy. it was really pretty. there was this magical stone up there.

there are lots of tourists here, Sorry preeti, we came to a part opf goa that has no trance's it's very quiet and laid back. Everyone one speaks either, konkyan or hindi, and immaculate english.. really really well. people are so laid back.

there are loads of isreali's here. so many that the menu contains fallafell.. i don't know how to spell that. i will call you all when i reach calcutta.

but now i will go swim in the ocean and look at extremly large crabs. they are HUMUNGOUS here!

we are off too kerela thursday. will write more tommorow.

me

Holy, ha juses! When am having a gut time i gots no time to go to no internetspot. SO das is why i'm so late in my writing. Well my blog followers. I was spending some time in the ole UK for a week after my saddeparture. YES i did go to the fidy cent concert! it was bang diddly.cept the fact that i was incredibely naususe. i think it was a bad curry from the night before.
anyway... let me fill you in. i wrote a bunch of stuff in my diary. so i will put thoseblogs up tommorow. For now i want to tell you what i've been doing inshort

Wednesday: flew out of London
Thursday : landed in rainy Mumbai. Stayed in a place called Juhu.
Friday: left juhu for more central Mumbai, Colobra went to a really nice resturant had parama ham.. ooops. beautiful place,could have been mistakend for a 5 star class resturant in philly, the place was called indigo
Saturday: Had a miss hap when Colin thought he lost his passportrecovered thankfully, hung out at Chowpatty beach, to watch the Ganeshceremonies. there were serioiusly about 3 milion people at the beachnot kidding. during the festivel they take 20ft sculptures of Ganesh(the elephant god for luck) and wheel these massive dieties into the ocean....picture soon to follow.Saturday night took a long ass train ride (12 hours sleeper bed)to goa.
Sunday: This is where you should all be jelous of me i'm ina huthouse on the ocean looking into the ocean at Goa, a place calledpalemo beach. It's clear, gorgeous and i frankly do wish you were all here.. lots of isrealis....odd but interesting.

will write more tommorow when i get sick of white sand and the hot warmwater....SUCKERSSS...
love you all lots..
me

last days of work

last days of work is comming by, tommorow is the end. I'm contemplating if i should
take my malaria pills or not, i hear they make you have bad dreams. The last thing i want to do is wake up to an awful nightmare and then have to take a bus over a crikety bridge.

Ms. Kumar got me an awesome traveling book last night, an artists approach to thailand, vietnam and laos.. i'm pretty psyched about it, it was very thoughful..... gut gut. sher gut.